I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
