I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
