i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
