i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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