I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
