was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
