one might say we're banned from that church
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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