Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
