i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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