stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
