my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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