i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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