You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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