Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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