well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
