I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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