Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
