yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
