Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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