This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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