I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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