some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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