So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
