I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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