Having a random hookup so left but love u
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
