yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
