wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
