do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
