the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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