Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
