my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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