Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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