I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
