You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
