...so i touched it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
