Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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