I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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