Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
