Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
