I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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