No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
