So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
