I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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