So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
