What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
