So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
