My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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