I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
