I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize