I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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