i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
