the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize