She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
