She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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