I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
