4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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