i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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