Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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