I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I've blown a few things in my day
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
