It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She even gives head with a lisp.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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