So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
