just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize