Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
