I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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